Who needs an editor?

Part Two

As nobody read Part One, in contrast to the best seller ‘Eats Shoots Leaves’ which made its author a fortune damn it. I better point out that it was about commas, colons and semi-colons and how grammatical errors can be drummed into one when young to the extent that you spend the rest of your life disagreeing with the highest authorities in the land on the use of for example the comma like my wife who had such drummed into her by a very strict nun.

Well years later I met the aforesaid nun on holiday inn Rome, in fact I was on holiday but she was at work. Although I couldn’t see her face I recognised her immediately from her dress.

“Oi!” I exclaimed. “You’re the one what taught that rubbish about never using and after a comma.”

She looked puzzled and tried to fob me off by speaking fluent Italian.

“Don’t come the old acid with me darling I said.”

By now she was running down the street in a panic.

However, being a natural athlete, I easily caught her up when she tripped on her habit and fell flat on her face.

“Don’t worry I said, I just wanted to ask you whether you knew that some old grammar books estimate the value of the comma, semicolon, colon, and (Ha!) full stop as follows:-
Comma, while you count one.
Semicolon, while you count two.
Colon, while you count three.
Full-stop, while you count four.

By which time the police had arrived and arrested me so I never heard her answer.

You do!